Be The Jam

Raining, that's what it's been doing, raining raining raining. Did you notice? Did you spend all day outside with not much in the way of shelter to protect you from the rain? You would have been wise not to I can tell you. At least I had a radio to listen to, hours and hours of analysis of Tony Blair's legacy and resignation speech, and rain. Lots of rain. Some might think such a situation might be a little, well, depressing, some would be wrong. Why there is nothing I enjoy more than getting wet, breathing smoke and listening to politics. When it got too dark to see I was positively besides myself with joy. I may, perhaps be over egging things a little for as much as sitting about in the rain might not be fun in and of itself there are certain advantages to this rain business. Well one advantage, other that that rain sucks. The good thing about all the rain is that the woods are now staring to look full of life rather than limp and tired, I could almost see the plants growing, the foliage getting thicker and the leaves getting greener by the minute. I went for a walk in between down pours, that is I made it about 100 meters before it started raining again but when I did I was greeted by a site that I have often seen, often been confused by but never written about. It seems that whenever it rains snails take it upon them selves to climb up trees. Always up, often in great numbers I have never ever seen a snail climbing down a tree. I like to think of myself as being fairly liberal and not minded to judge so I shall not question the wisdom of the snail in climbing into the domain of it's arch foe the bird, perhaps they have had enough and have decided that attack is the best form of defence. Perhaps they think that in the tree tops is the last place a hungry blackbird would look for a snail in the early morning. I know not, like I say I will not judge. What I will do though is pose a question, what do they do when they get to the top of the tree? Take flight? Is this evolution in the happening, much as the fish slowely took to the land so too the snail shall take to the air. I hope so. In Millennia from now perhaps our ancestors will lie beneath a tree and dream of soaring free as a snail.

This morning though I had to face the deadly cousin of the snail, from out of nowhere, although I rather suspect that they did in fact come from somewhere, appeared an army of slugs, unlike their lofty airborne kin slugs goes about their business quite unclad with shell; it is positively indecent.  Brought out by the rain came the hoard slithering in the most unappealing manner over the ground, my rucksack, and even over my bottle of milk. I don't like slugs at the best of times, I find the way they insist on sludging between my toes in the dark a most unattractive habbit and one that has not succeeded in endearing them to me either as individuals or as a race. Waking up to find a particularly large one specimen just inches from my eyes did not in anyway increase my love for the slidey little varmints. Even the young, which appear to be starting out in the big wide world as of this morning are quite foul. This is quite a feat for the young of virtually all species tend to have something appealing about them, think kittens, puppies or a foal uncertain on its legs and you will see what I mean. Not slugs though, oh no, young slugs are just as slimy and evil looking as their ugly parents but with one frightening ability that to my knowledge has never been witnessed before. For young slugs oh gentle reader have developed the most fearsome ability of all, the ability to abseil! Had I not rolled over on to my back just when I did I might never have seen that silent assassin behind me dangling as it was from my ceiling on a thin transparent thread. I lay for a minute frozen somewhere between mortal fear and fascination at a very small slug seemingly floating in mid-air. At first I thought it had become caught in a spider's web and then realised that in fact it was dangling from it's own mucus trail, a trail I realised that was getting longer by the moment, well minute - it was travelling slowly as one might expect. Fortunately I gathered my senses and quick as a flash had caught the ninja slug on a handy leaf and put him far away. A lesser man might well have been done for but fortunately my finely honed woodland skills and lightening reactions saved me, this time....

Beware, for the things of the forest floor that rustle, slide and ooze are taking to the skies my friends, all about us they are.

New T shirts in the shop.