Hitch Hiking
The Driver's perspective
Are there a lot of unhappy people in the world? This morning I passed a hitch-hiker standing outside the Wycombe Swan with a sign that said "A HAPPY PLACE..." He wasn't particularily scruffy but he needed a hair cut. He looked a bit sour. I wondered if he was An art student or genuinely un-happy. I thought he probably wouldn't want to come with me to work, it's not always a happy place and probably not worth taking a chance. But then I thought I could drop him off at T4 Arrivals - there's always happy people there being re-united with their loved ones etc... But then I struck on a simpler idea; If he simply wrote "SMILE :)" on the other side of his sign and smiled at people himself, they would naturally smile back and he wouldn't have had to go anywhere. In that case he would "be the Jam" but alas, by the time I reached this conclusion I was halfway down the M40 swearing at some tit in a scorpio.
words by The Jam Man
Jam
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Railway Fun
The First Capital Connect representative at Three Bridges station this morning must surely be a contender for most unhelpful person ever.
I was awaiting the 11.12 departure, advertised at 11.16 as being "on time and formed of 8 coaches".
When I asked the representative when it was actually going to turn up her first response was "it's not late, because in the eyes of the railway if it's within three minutes it counts as being on time". After a fellow passenger pointed out the obvious that even by this definition it was still late I made the remark that I couldn't expect to turn up three minutes late for my connection and still catch it. This was met with a confusing ramble about exactly how late (in minutes and seconds) the train was in her eyes and "if I could stand up there and change the clock back I would".
This nonsense rendered me speechless so rather than ask her how that was meant to help I left her to resume her rude and insolent pose as she made no effort at all to find out what was going on and inform the many passenger on the platform.
