Be The Jam

Holiday Inn

I got up at 6 this morning, having since 11.50 the night before been charmed to hear every hour, half hour and sparrow snore, every member of staff chuckling and singing his/her/its happiness on the way off duty with a final loud imprisoning of sections of stray inedible materials, preferably cooked to explosive point,  in the capacious containers tastefully arranged beneath the opened windows of my (shared {with a snorer}) double room. Thus I passed several merry hours, alternating my appreciation of the concert outside which they had kindly timed to coincide with the Heavy Traffic Movement of the famous Nottingham Concerto for three motor horns and a flexible chorus of police, ambulance and fire engine sirens, the voices of the choirs of angels from barland .....I think they called them angels or was is bastards - something biblical anyway. This passed the idle hours of the night as we lay on our Holiday Inn superdiscomfort twin beds with en suite, until the birds came on at about 3.30, as it's lighter in town. The alarm going off at 6.00 was almost a disappointment after such an entertaining night. However we staggered down to the full english of sorts, and left the hotel at 8 am to continue to the  Confrence in Sheffield Hallam.

Hallam Arena

Hallam Arena has two small pizza n frankfurter bars with warm drinks (fanta, coke, orange etc) and were stunned when at least half of those attending the confrence demanded something edible for lunch (three quarters of an hour). In the strictest sense, I don't think any of the customers got that, but those of the 4,000 in the queue who reached the front were able to purchase pallid ovals of very gently steaming paste on some bread, or a boiled pink thing, unadorned, in a dry bread roll. Those unfortunate as we were in reaching the front of the line just as lunch hour expired, made a hasty choice - my friend Margaret wanted an orange juice (in the bottle so she could save it till later). Before she could object the woman opened it and put it in a glass - "Hi wench", trilled Margaret,"I wanted to take that in with me this afternoon to drink inside the arena!". "You're not allowed to take a bottle or your glass inside there" was the response, so Margaret picked up her glass and had to gulp it down so she could get back inside the arena.. I asked for a bottle of water, was given it, and took it in. Is there a logic here?